Friday, September 14, 2012

14


T-minus 14 days and counting...


14 days from now - not next Tuesday, but the Tuesday after that - there will be a huge U-Haul parked out there, in my driveway... and it will be getting loaded (by now, will BE loaded) full... hopefully by more people than just my brother and I.... if it is just us, that will be damn hard... (I can offer pizza and beer... any takers out there???) Anyway - it will be loaded, FULL, of all the items that made up my "life" - so much of it a lie... and they will be wiped clean of their past as they pass into that truck... and begin the voyage with me, into the future...


I should give myself credit - rather than feeling this frustration with myself - today is the first day that all the stress of the move stuff itself is really trying to burrow under my skin. I spent a large part of the day, wanting to kill something. Just physically do damage to something, anything. Now, that is not me... but all day I have just had that uncomfortable twitch to my every move... in my every thought... it is a restlessness that is holding up inside of me...


All the issues are a means to an end. And completely worth it. This, I know. I am just craving the ability to snap my fingers - and have it all done.


I am ready to get my life started. I have waited too long as it is.


The kids are growing impatient and uncertain as the things they know have begun to vanish from around them... off the mantle (that I wish I could bring...- Glenn made that mantle for me... I stained it... I don't want to leave it behind...) and they see the piles of boxes beginning to accumulate in the corners...


"Nobody said it would be easy... they only said it would be worth it...."


And so... I am sitting here trying to unwind. My eyes are focused as firmly as ever on the "prize" - I just hope to keep the insanity from creeping in too much over the next two weeks...


And I have a birthday coming up... one week from Friday. And so - (this will have relevance in a moment, but you have to listen to a story first...) Last week - I had my camera out - taking pictures to remember everyone by and what not... at that same time my friend who sees me all of the time told me "your clothes are getting baggy..." - This is all well and good... (I am working fricken hard at that, thank you very much...) but I had not even been thinking about it causing me any clothing issues... we laughed at it being a "good problem" - and I forgot all about it. Until, I went and uploaded the pictures taken of me from that day... oh... MY... God... No - that just won't do!!!


Do you know what I did?? I went out Monday morning and got myself a new (less baggy!) pair of jeans.


For my birthday.


Yes... I am freaking out over every penny for the move these days... but - I buy $17 Walmart jeans... not $120 designer things... so - I just felt I should really go and do that for myself.


I then informed everyone we are going to have to retake some pictures this week!!!


I think I might go burn the insanely horrible and very frumpy and baggy looking shirt I had on from the first set of pictures too............


And I leave you with that.... I am completely exhausted and totally awake at the same time. I am sure I will remain this way for the next two weeks... and then some. Once we get on the road, I will have two days of that... (but that will not be all bad, will it?) - and then we get to unload the truck and unpack.... and then - finally... the page will be fully turned... and the next chapter can start to be written...


The pen is already in my hand... ready..... set......


Posted Date: : Jun 24, 2008 10:03 PM

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