Friday, September 14, 2012

What makes a family...



Okay... I have the oddest headache I think I have ever had. (I wrote this a few hours ago, just so you know.) This headache was there yesterday too - today it is really bothering me... it is not a normal headache for me - this one is like this crazy amount of slightly throbbing pressure on my left temple - that runs down over my cheek bone... and it just feels, weird. I can't really say it "hurts" - but it is annoying. I just felt the need to share that...


Anyway... so - here I am - I have a few hours where I could truly do ANYTHING - well, within the confines of travel time... (there is something I would do in a heartbeat - if it didn't take so long to get there...) so - as I was saying - I could almost do anything right now... yet, what am I doing? What I always do when I have free time during a moment that Andrew has the kids... I am sitting at Starbucks, writing. I guess that is what I get for being such a creature of habit...


Today just feels a bit different though... Today - for the first time in months the kids finally got to see their big sister Amanda again. (Right now, Andrew has the children with him as he takes her home, I suppose that is why the day feels so different to me... they are not just around the corner at my house...) And so, at 3 pm - I met them for lunch. I have to admit - it was odd - and, completely comical to me... yet, just - odd.


We met at Friendly's... sat at a table we have sat at a dozen times before... we probably looked just as we would have back then too... hell - now, we probably looked happier... (we probably are - I certainly know that I am...) I just don't know how to describe it. Sitting there - appearing to be one big happy family - when - well - we are not. Or - maybe I am wrong... maybe we are - now - for the first time in years. What defines a family after all? Is it the blood that runs through your veins? The ring you wear around your finger? Is it based solely on love and desire? Perhaps to some... but I don't see it like that at all - a family is whatever you choose it to be...


A family of course consists of parents, and children... brothers and sisters... but when the illusion of what should make you happy... (or, what you thought would make you happy..) smashes into the reality of what does make you happy... well - you end up with moments like the one I had today...


Passerby's see a happy "family" - and - we were happy... but I found myself questioning the idea of family. A divorced couple (close enough "officially" to it..) his daughter... their children... I find myself wanting to say - sure - we are still a "family" - at least in some sense of the word...


To the blood that runs through your veins... and the vows you have spoken, and broken... your pasts, and your respective futures... those who said you cannot choose your family - clearly got it just a bit wrong... you always have a choice. In everything you do... and in everyone you accept. And everyone deserves one chance. (Yes, everyone.)


So then... a new day... a new revelation.


Onward march... Tally-ho... and all that jazz....


Posted Date: : May 10, 2008 8:11 PM

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