This morning, at about 20 minutes after 6 am I awakened... hearing a rumble... "No way..." I thought to myself... and I listened - and the rumble grew more intense... and ended with a bit of a bang. Seriously? It IS January... right?
So.. I reached behind my head, and silenced my alarm before it had the chance to start... and I laid there and listened. After all... the one SINGLE thing I truly miss about living in Texas (aside from being close to my brother - love you Toby!) is listening to a good, rumbling thunderstorm. It grew closer and closer... the lightning flashes were lighting the room... it wasn't long before I heard the children over the monitor.. "Jillian, it's a storm!" Aidan said... the excitement obvious in his voice... "Eeekkkkkk!!!" Jillian squealed... and they came dashing up the stairs and crawled into bed with me. And for the next 30 minutes, we stayed there... "ohhhhhing" at the lightning together... as they cringed at the Thunder. The storm was still rumbling and flashing away as I brought us downstairs... to start the morning routine... clothes... milk, teeth brushed... hair... and what not. And then there was the absolute downpour. I love a good strong downpour too. Though in January, on Long Island, it should be snow. But, I welcomed the downpour too. I wanted to let it wash some of the fog out of my mind...
The rain came in bursts... and just as I was ready to head for the bus stop with Jillian - down came the heavy, heavy rain. We made it there though... of course.
Now... the rain has stopped... leaving a murky fog in it's wake. More storms should come through later... to clear it all out - and bring in the cold, more January like temperatures with it. The air feels so nice out there - I have my sliding glass door wide open... I would sit outside right now, if it wasn't for the wind... the wind is chilly... and carrying stray raindrops on it as well.
I feel this battle waging inside myself. The yin, and the yang. The red and white dragons... battling it out.
He says he needs a few more days before he talks to me about anything. He says the quiet time has been good for him. I have such mixed feelings about that. Part of me wants to say "good" - great - if that will make him come back home and be a truly devoted husband and father - then, wonderful. And part of me just wants to totally unload over it.... but, not right now.
I have this pain, this pretty bad pain in my lower back. It feels very similar to the kidney infections pains I have had in the past. The problem is - I can't remember them that well - and it seems like they hurt more.. like I wasn't able to function they hurt so much. And this... this is DARN uncomfortable... but clearly it doesn't have me bent over crying. Nevertheless... I am drinking water like it is going out of style - because I certainly can't afford a hospital stay right now... which in the past is where I have ended up over my kidney infections. So - start thinking some really happy thoughts!! And I hope it is just a pulled muscle!
I have more to write later I know... and I still have to send out those pictures from the other day!
Posted Date: : Jan 11, 2008 12:23 AM