Friday, September 14, 2012

Here... catch!


I missed it.... yesterday, my son came running into the house... so excited... and had me come outside with him... "look Mommy!!! It's snowing!!" The excitement jumped off of his words... and, it was "snowing..." and it was beautiful... wondrous... floral scented white petals, falling from the sky... just like snow flakes. (it was chilly yesterday, but not that cold!) I stood there with them.. in that frigidly crisp breeze - and watched this moment through their eyes... yes - it was snowing indeed...


Though - I missed the picture of that tree in full bloom, I had been meaning to take! (Darn it!) Today, most of the fluffy white flowers have been replaced by bright green leaves... the wheel has turned once more... Spring is already preparing it's departure... as Summer looms on the horizon...


Summer... something that, until recently I had looked at with a conflicting mixture of excitement and, dread. It is a fresh new start... an entirely new beginning... Moving to Houston, and then - what?


My thought process has mostly stopped there... hurry up - get to Houston - viola - goal accomplished - task list completed... ready... set... GO - ?


It all stopped with the move....


I was doing what I had to do....


Ready... set... panic?


Pssshhtttttt... screw that shit! (Yes, I hear you cheering.. and you know who you are!) Over there... on that side of the Summer - That is my life waiting for me. That is our future - I have lived in this existence that was not fully my own - for far too long. And with every step I take... every pass of the hands of the clock... another second... another minute... another hour... is another moment my comfort with myself, grows...


Every day is getting better - progressively - don't let my frustrated writings here and there concern you.. I may be having a rough moment at that moment in time - but, that day - is still a hundred times better than one a few months ago was...


Happiness - it should never be a chore... it should just flow through you...


I see so many people... always searching for happiness... always looking for the next "big thing" - but, just stop - breathe - just BE... If you cannot find it within yourself... you will never find it outside of yourself... (I can't take credit for that statement... I borrowed it...)


And... I've got it. I am totally happy with ME right now. (Yes, some improvements are in the works... but, I am on the right track!!) And - I am happy. My happiness - has simply managed to pull more happiness into my life - and I am so very thankful for that.


Time to take the training wheels off... let go of the rail.... just, jump......


It's alright - I can catch myself.


Posted Date: : Apr 27, 2008 8:12 PM

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