Thursday, September 13, 2012

Hidden realities behind the veil of sleep...

Last night was so restless for me... much like that of my life these past few months...

I had two very distinct dreams. I wanted to write them down right away... the first one that startled me awake at 3:12 am... and the next, that did the same, at 5:22 am. But - I reached for my trusty dream notebook... and it was gone. I was so distraught over that alone, in that instant (after the first dream woke me) I nearly got up to search for it... but I know my husband would never have touched that notebook... especially right where it was.. so I have no idea who could have moved it - or more importantly, why. I will have to hunt for it later on today.

Alright, here goes... and I hope none of the crispness has been lost in the hours that have passed:

Dream 1: Actually, I should call it a nightmare. Anyway - I was in my living room with my husband, my children were in their beds, sleeping soundly... it was late at night. I feel it important to mention, when I dream, my house NEVER looks like my house - it is always somewhere totally foreign to me. This dream was no exception. Anyway... we hear a loud banging noise outside... I open my front door, and see a man trying to open my locked garage door. (This was all accurate to how my house looks in reality.) There were 2 other men with him... they were demanding the things I have in my garage... (in reality, nothing in there is of much value, except the extra desk... but, I digress...) They got into their truck, and drove around my SUV, and tried to ram my garage door... (in reality, the proportions would have made this impossible...) and they were demanding our things. At this point I had my husband calling the police, and I was trying to fight them off, to keep them out of the house... and he was helping me - and somehow, 3 of them, 2 of us - we were keeping them at bay... but it just felt like an impossible struggle. (I think that is important somehow.) And we were tiring... and the police were not coming... and finally... I struggled myself awake.

To dream that you participate in a fight, indicates inner turmoil. Some aspect of yourself is in conflict with another aspect of yourself. Perhaps an unresolved or unacknowledged part is fighting for its right to be heard.  It may also parallel a fight or struggle that you are going through in your waking life.

To dream that you are fighting to the death, indicates that you are unwilling to acknowledge a waking conflict or your own inner turmoil.  You are unwilling and refusing to change your old attitudes and habits.

I could not find "impossible fight" or "never ending fight" - but I guess these two paragraphs are as close as I could get to it.....

Now, onto Dream 2: This one was the most intense... and is the most cloudy in my memory - even though it was the second one I had of the night... go figure. I can't exactly remember how it started... we were cleaning out a house... I guess we had moved... anyway - it was totally dark.. like we were doing it without lights... there seemed to be no lights anywhere.. well - at some point I sat down on the couch in the one room with furniture... and apparently, I dozed off. Well... I wake up (in the dream) and there is total silence. I try to call out for anyone - and no sound will come out of my mouth. At all. (I REALLY hate those dreams.) So I panic, and yell harder and louder - no sound. I felt scared, and alone. At some point I must have spoken to my husband, on I guess my cell phone? He said "Glenn tried to wake you, you seemed awake" (yes Glenn... you were apparently there helping!) and he said they would come back for me... to hurry and get out of the house. Uhh, ok? It felt ominous. Anyway - I went outside to wait, in the pouring rain. It was just pouring. And I was happy I finally had a use for the annoying hood attached to my shirt... and then the rain stopped, suddenly - and I saw the sun appear on the horizon. It was blindingly bright... so bright.. it woke me up - to the total darkness of my bedroom.

I don't even know what to try to analyze on that one. Moving? Abandonment issues? What's with the pouring rain? (When I woke up, it was raining....) The blinding light, I REALLY saw - that clearly, was not actually IN my bedroom... and I hate the screaming with no sound thing.......... so - I am open for interpretation suggestions on this one!!!!

I slept - but I feel SO darn tired! Hopefully tonight I can actually SLEEP?

Posted Date: : Dec 29, 2007 1:28 PM

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