Friday, September 14, 2012

A point..

Earlier today - I was driving down Boyle Road.. a road I drive down all of the time - and I was angry. Completely tearing the Ex apart in a mental argument in my head... and I came to a stop sign... a man was walking along the road - with a very long - alive - boa (snake) draped across his shoulders, and down his arms. It stopped my mind right in it's tracks. And it let me completely change direction, mentally. I just had to start this off by mentioning that moment... a way of offering thanks I suppose.. and plus - how often do you see a man with a very big boa walking down a busy neighborhood street!?

This afternoon was quite intense at moments... Jillian got off of the bus - and happily got ready for her dance class... and we waited for Andrew to arrive... the moment he did - and we were ready to leave - chaos and panic ensued. It was one of those, carry her to the car, and buckle her in - drive as she completely has a meltdown moments. Those are the hardest these days. Eventually - once we got to the dance studio, she relaxed. On the way home I knew she was calm and happy - so I could go on with my plans to drop her off with Andrew at my house - until his visit time was over, at 7:30. That would give me about an hour and a half of time to myself...

And then - Andrew pulled one of his grill me UP and DOWN moments. And I really craved the ability to just throw a rock at him. First, he tries to argue with me about going at all... then he insists on knowing where - "incase something happens...."

Really?? Because I don't expect a play by play of his itinerary for each waking moment he is not here in MY sight... "incase something happens..." - Hell - he would not even give me his ADDRESS until he was forced to say it to our attorney in front of me - and he hesitated even then! (And, I would seriously care.... why?!? He really had or has these delusions I am going to go throw a rock through their window or something... repeat after me - I. DON'T. CARE.)

I just don't get it. He expects to have his life, and his happily ever after (again, Yay for him... REALLY) - yet - monitor my every single move. Heaven forbid I am over him... dare to have a life... things to do - and people (wait a second.. a GUY) to talk too........

If I checked HIS phone bill and inquired about who this, or that phone number was that he was texting... or insisted he tell me when/where/why he is doing something ON HIS OWN TIME one day/night - I would get labeled as his insane stalker ex-wife. (I know this, I know him - I have paid my ten years of penance....) Yet - if I breathe funny... he wants an explanation!? If I need him and he isn't here - that's what he has a cell phone for. Same SHOULD go for me. Right?

And - I will make sure to make the inevitable conversation to "explain" to him - because he will find an excuse to ask - about my 2 to even - wow.. 2 and a half hour middle of the night phone conversations a funny one.................. (because - he will expect an explanation.... meanwhile - I DO NOT CARE who he is talking to.... go figure....)

Moving on....

Then, I get asked: "you will be back by 7, right??" Because, apparently - Joba Chamberlain (Yankee pitcher - keep up here, my beloved Southern and Midwestern folk....) is the starting pitcher tonight - at 7. And.... he might have to be..... you know...... distracted during it.... by - wait for it...... his children!! Who are the REASON he is here to begin with...........

That may sound harsh... but - it is damn well how I felt at that moment. I wanted so badly to say something... but it is a useless, pointless fight... that he feels completely right and vindicated on - and I totally disagree with.

Yeah... one of those moments - we will never see eye to eye - so - we should not try. Therefore - I bit my tongue... and told him off, silently, to myself.

It is not about winning the point of the argument anymore. It is simply about getting along. And so - that is what I did. I did not engage in the fight - (yes, I wrote it out now...) And I let it go.

Onward march...............

Posted Date: : Jun 3, 2008 8:37 PM

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