One year... it's been over a year since my children and I moved home... to the city I grew up in - to begin our lives over - completely. My idea wasn't to immediately jump into a relationship... but it just sort of happened - and I am thankful every single day, that it did. I knew it was headed that way anyway... and so - in late July of last year, I moved in with my Charlie. He and I had been an item for a bit in High School.... and were reconnected by a friend early, early last year. And - I am so happy.
I've found myself over, and over again - parts of me I had no idea I had lost. It is such a wonderful feeling... When I realized last week it had been a year already - I couldn't stop smiling. Getting to the 1 year mark in my marriage had seemed like such a struggle... Yet - this year - it just kind of crept up on me. The good has far out weighed the bad - and what little bad there has been - has merely been money issues anyway. Seems for now that will continue - but it doesn't even matter. I could lose every material thing I have - and everything would still be - wonderful.
Laying in bed at night - I feel so very safe, and protected. I am thinner than I have been in years. My hair is longer than it has been in years... and for the first time in my life - I know exactly who I am. I can be exactly what I want - and I'm not judged or ridiculed.. I have more help than I ever have too...
We took my babies on their first camping trip for my birthday this year.. and they had a blast! We went back again last weekend - and hopefully.. will go once more before fall. My baby boy starts Kindergarten a week from Monday... and I just want to slow time down - if only for a moment - so I can take it all in, and enjoy.
Every moment of every day is a gamble - a risk. And if we don't take the risk - we keep standing still.. while life goes on with out us. I stood still for so long - for a little while there catching up to the movement was frightening... but I have found my way. And I've found a very strong hand to hold - any time I might need one.
I know this isn't much in the way of an update... I just haven't had time to write like I used to... One of these day's I'll get around to really writing something - I promise!!
Posted Date: : Aug 1, 2009 4:14 PM