Still stuck..

Well... here I sit. Still stuck.

I haven't said anything to my husband yet like I want to. I just, can't. I can - and I will. But I am waiting for the right time I guess.

Part of me wants to just get it the hell over with. And part of me want to extend whatever this is I am in for a while. But I shouldn't. Overall, I am very unhappy. Constantly wondering... worrying... assuming the worst. I hate that. I cannot stand living like that.

I have a bad habit of not changing a bad situation for the sheer sake of NOT changing things. Make any sense?

But one day soon, I'm sure very soon - I'll get my chance. Then I just have to figure out what comes next. And that scares the shit out of me.. truthfully.

I guess that's all for now.