Saturday, September 8, 2012

A real pain in the... sinus?

I don't even know where to start... the morning after I wrote my last entry, as predicted, I woke up feeling horrible. But I felt even worse than I expected. This was seriously, to me, like a mild case of the flu. Body aches, chills, mild fever.... I was just a ball of joy. To top it off my baby girl was still a bit on the sick side... and it was just insanely hot... and my house was not the fun place to be.
Friday went by... and then Saturday rolled around... by Saturday night I knew something was worse than wrong... I had this horrible taste in my mouth - and I had not really eaten anything more than a few bites of mashed potatoes since the night before. My sweet husband even went and got me a chai, (a chai from Starbucks I can never resist) and made me chicken soup - and I swear... it all tasted literally rotten. This continued all day yesterday... and last night when I found myself actually physically getting sick from the smell of my normally yummy smelling shampoo... I hit my breaking point, and *knew* a trip to the doctor was in order. (It's not like I smelled the shampoo, or tasted the chicken soup or chai, everything else just made the horrible taste/smell in my mouth even worse.)
Then, last night my baby girl, who we thought had gotten better... starting coughing away in her sleep. Just hacking away. So... make that a doctor trip for two...
The verdict? I have a raging sinus infection (I had figured that out already) and am now on the stomach turning, head fuzzying Biaxin (why is it the crap you take to make yourself feel better, makes you feel WORSE at the beginning?) and my baby girl just has.... a cold. But he did think she had a mild ear infection so she has an antibiotic too. And... I still feel like total shit. But at least there is hope... and I will know the true smell and taste of things again soon... I am counting the seconds.
With all of this, I still feel like I am searching for a quiet moment to actually take in the reality of us being home. I have come to the realization that everything that happened over the past year, the lies and betrayals, and pure stress filled moments, apparently will take a little time for me to recover from. And I just don't want to give it anymore of my valuable time...
My husband is doing his best to work through it all as well... but he is more forgiving than I am. Or maybe I am simply more angry at how we were used. And when I find something as disgusting as this in her pogo screen name profile:
"[Insert screen name of gullible friend who could lay out money for her to "borrow" when I ran out here] Is my bestest good friend. We are like peas and carrots she and me are...She never makes me feel less of a person than I really am!! I love her!!!!

Favorite Saying: Get over yourself! With a "poor me" attitude and thinking your better than everyone ultimately FAIL in life no matter how much you think you are successful."
Knowing that was directed right at me... it just makes my stomach turn. I wished nothing but good on that pathetic bitch... and there she is, publicly hoping I fail. Telling me I will. I just am absolutely disgusted by her. Everything she "thinks" she is. And now... now I know I am better than her. And as for her wishing ill fate towards me, and therefore ultimately my family... I have one word for her: KARMA.
So... anyway... wow do I feel like crap. My husband just tried to make me more soup... but still it was just horrible to my screwed up senses. I knew the one dose of antibiotic I had taken so far would not have miraculously cured me already... but I can dream. In the meantime, I suppose I am on a much needed involuntary diet. I have not eaten anything of substance since Saturday... and that was minimal. And I am so damn hungry...

1:09 p.m.

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