I hate money.

Sometimes I get so frustrated I just want to SCREAM. We have money problems. Immense, seriously growing money problems. I can't stand it anymore. Things were supposed to get back on the "up swing" on this coming Friday, my husband was going to get his first "good" commission check since he changed his pay structure, and we were going to get "ahead of the game" on a few things.

Now he has learned that he was wrong in assuming the pay structure was a certain way. (I will not criticize him for not finding out BEFORE hand, he does not need that right now.) But damn... he should have known to ask. Anyway, now we MAY NOT be able to get my car back from the repo man Friday (yes, it was repo'ed) and there is no way they will hold it *another* two weeks... not to mention, if the pay schedule is as screwed up as it seems it was explained to him today, we probably could not get it then anyway. Damn it. I *REALLY* wanted to hand his mother a GOOD check for the $5000 we are eternally paying her back for... and I REALLY wanted to give his ex-wife a nice check this month to get HER off our back because the moment she finds out we are pregnant again (which will be the first weekend in May when she sees me at my stepdaughter's softball game) she will instantly start hounding for her money again because she will think if we are pregnant again, then we must be doing ok financially again... Shit. Damn it, damn it. I hate being broke.

So now I am totally stressed... there were SO MANY things I needed to pay on Friday, and I wanted to TRY to order a second receiver for our directv so we can FINALLY hook up the TV in the bedroom... and we HAVE to get my little angel a convertible car seat because she has basically out grown the infant one... I hate being broke. Everytime it looks like we are finally going to be able to dig out of our hole... something happens and we are screwed again.

04.08.2003
2:30 p.m.