First off, I wrote another entry today... and that can be found here.
I just can't really pin point my feelings these days. I think it is simple excitement. I just can't wait for my husband to get his first check... to be able to get our own groceries, and pay our own car note. Just handle some of the simple things we have been needing to handle for so long now... get a real laundry basket instead of a garbage bag... things like that. And then there is still that feeling of "can it really be real" because - the road to get here was so hard... and took so long... I am just so relieved...
Tomorrow starts the work week again. And back into our new found routine. I hope I can tweak it this week a bit... see less of my mother... more time outside. I want to start walking in the mornings to get the kids out of the house. They need it.
My one source of stress that I just can't "block out" this weekend, has actually been my husband. He does not mean it, and I know he is trying very hard... just, when the kids stress him out - he gets so totally frazzled... I can deal with them when their behavior goes in the wrong direction... but when he yells and over reacts... it just makes me want to run away.
I am just hoping that getting his routine of going to work back will calm his nerves around them some. Maybe it is selfish of me, but I need it.
I also feel like now his weekends are so much more precious with the kids... and I probably screwed it up this afternoon. I invited my mother up to watch the footage of the hurricane coming into Pensacola... we used to live in Mobile, not far away at all... and we have friends there. Well... once she got here... getting her, and my brother to leave again was not so easy. I just have to be patient and get them into a routine as well. When my daughter has a fit, my mother has to learn to NOT come upstairs and offer to help... (she did once this weekend, and we respectfully declined) - I know she means well... but just because she can hear it, does not mean I want her involved in it. But I do think once we all get into a groove, so to speak, it will all work out.
I am just looking forward to next weekend... we will finally be able to do basically whatever we want... finally. We will have my step-daughter here... we will go out to dinner one night... the pool guy will come and start working on the pool.... things will just really begin to fall into place, and feel REAL with our finances.
I hope it does not get as hot as they are predicting tomorrow...