Currently... I am quite frustrated. And most of it is over such non-important trivial crap... but nonetheless, today it managed to get under my skin.
Of course... it is over my mother. I had hoped I would not get this edgy... would-you-please-go-back-downstairs-and-do-something-besides-just-sit-there-and-moan-and-complain-about-virtually-nothing-and-be-a-general-pain-in-MY-ass feeling until the beginning of next week... but alas, we don't always get what we ask for, right?
She has not been job hunting because she has not gotten a check she has been waiting for from her former company in Houston to put gas in her truck, etc... even though today I have no idea why she did nothing much, because my little brother actually worked with my neighbor yesterday and filled up the tank in their truck. Actually to be fair that is not true... I am sure she was here waiting for her check... which we found out should come over express mail tomorrow...
But just... b-r-e-a-t-h-e... today I got frustrated. And if she is still doing it by Monday... I am damn sure going to say something. Because I don't want to hear how her stomach is acting up, and she needs her stomach medication (as always), and no, I don't want to tell her who that is with the nifty screen name that signed onto my buddy list... I mean... I can't say "you don't know her it doesn't matter" - but that does not stop her from asking... and no I can't STAND the way she keeps looking over my shoulder when I get an email and inquires.. "oohhh, what's that about?" - and good grief when I open a damn soda it is FOR ME. No I don't have some weird germ phobia but go get your own!! Don't tell me you are "stealing" a sip of mine... hey - maybe I do have some weird germ phobia... anyway... it just doesn't fly with me.
And do not tell me how to do this, or that... or even that (hypothetically, because I can't name the exact instances anymore.. I just know I got fed up with it) because I have my OWN way of doing things that does NOT require your input.
I know she thinks she is helping - but I don't want help right now.
Anyway... I know this is all totally trivial crap that WILL have passed by next week... it just felt good to get it out. My muscles feel all sore and tense from clenching them the past few hours... I just got really frustrated today. Once she has a job... it will get much easier.
Other than that... things are mostly going good... with one exception. My father-in-law's condition has continued to not improve, and has started to worsen. We know he does not have a long time at this point... and I just hope I can be there for my husband the way he needs me too. I know he is worrying about how he will be there for his mom... I feel like I never reacted the "right" way to my father's death. I knew it was coming so far in advance... I just seemed to emotionally detach. I don't know how my husband will handle it... and it breaks my heart.
A good note... my husband gets his first check tomorrow... I can't wait to pay some bills!! (When is the last time someone said that?!?)