Friday, September 7, 2012

Slowly getting better

This week... I just don't even know how to describe it. It has been a hell of a week.

My head is STILL spinning, and I am STILL feeling nervous system "zaps" here and there... and STILL I feel like I could morph into super bitch and bite anyone's head off over nothing in mere seconds flat - but over all... today I think I am doing better than a couple of days ago.

My husband said something yesterday that really hit me deeply - emotionally. He said to me he takes responsibility for what I am going through right now. That he knows it is his fault I even got on paxil to begin with. And the past few days he truly has been an amazing help to me.

He told me he wants me to be proud of him as a husband... and I am. I am very proud of him. What he has done, will always be there. It will always be a part of our past, but, as long as we keep going forward as we are now... hopefully the past will continue to taint our future less and less.

On August 4th, we will have been married 6 years. I hope, on that day, we can only think of the good memories, and focus on our future, and all the great things it holds.

Though currently, I am just focusing on getting to tomorrow, and then the next day. I feel horrible from this paxil withdrawal crap - but - it seems today is better than yesterday. So, maybe, just maybe tomorrow will be even better than today and I will be able to walk a straight line again without feeling like the room is spinning around me.

Oh yeah, and it will be nice to no longer feel like I am strapped to a weak electric chair each time I shift my eyes too. I'm looking forward to that.

1:32 p.m.

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