I have reached a moment in parenthood I have known was coming for a while now... a moment where, I officially can go "holy shit, NOW what do I do?"
What is this frightening revelation you might ask? My son (who is only 1 and a half, not 2 and a half like my daughter who has YET to figure out this nifty trick) has discovered if you turn the doorknob and pull... something really cool happens. It opens.
He had done it a few times before... but today, as my husband was at the store to pick up dinner stuff... he decided he did not want to WAIT for daddy any longer, and opened the door to the garage (the one we leave and enter the house in most often) and started to leave. Of course I stopped him, closed the door and held my breath he would forget his neat trick. Of course I was not so lucky. He then tried (successfully) over, and over to open the door until my husband got home.
He has (successfully) tried to open it yet again since he got home. Now, I have those neat things for the door knob that covers it so baby fingers can't open it - but of course.. I have already packed them. And my door knobs here are really small, so I am not even sure if they will fit them at all. (I had not had to use them yet.) I can't just lock the door, the lock is ON the door knob, so no matter what it turns. So, unless I can keep him totally distracted I am afraid I am now doomed to spend our last few weeks here, making sure the baby does not escape the house. I guess it sounds simple enough... as long as I don't turn my back for as much as a nanosecond.
While I am on the subject of my babies... (I would much rather talk about them than my daily constant flow of never ending stress anyway...) We have the neatest night time routine now. I normally time dinner to be ready at about 6:30 pm, the same time Wheel of Fortune is on. My munchkins have really taken to watching it too. My baby girl cheers with the crowd, and even calls out letters randomly! Now my little guy has started doing it too... his main letter is "EEEEEE" but it works!
Oh dear... we interrupt the Wheel of Fortune talk to bring you the new edition of the "coolest trick in the book" by my son... now he figured out turning the knob works on the bathroom door too. Yep... I am so totally screwed.
Anyway... As for everything else... I still feel a knot in my stomach... I still feel like my husband is just TRYING to "push my buttons" because maybe pissing me off gives him something to worry about other than our situation? I don't know... but it has me on my last nerve... but that isn't even that important. We emailed our tenants wanting to know what is up for the month, but they have not emailed back.... and our ability to fork over any money at our "eviction hearing" Tuesday is looking grim. I am feeling the desperate need to figure out where the heck we can go from here, if we can't go straight home... but I have been trying to figure that out for over a month now... I know it will all fall into place... but, does it have to give me such an ulcer in the process?
On a good note, my scale is finally dropping, and I "upgraded" my work out from my treadmill back to my stationary bike which worked so good for me to lose weight on after having my daughter. I know it will make my hip hurt more so I will still use the treadmill and not the bike each time... but my over all health is more important. (At least if I tell myself that over and over again to drown out the pain, maybe I will believe it?)
04.30.2005
4:24 p.m.
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