I just wanted to stick this little tidbit into my private folder because well... I think sometimes my mother-in-law might read my journal... (my husband has referenced she did once a while back, and I figure I can't be too careful) - Because the last thing I want to do is hurt her feelings...
Ok.. that said.
I am so frustrated over our "Thanksgiving arrangements" - at least, the way it appears everything is just "supposed to go" anyway...
She (my mother-in-law) has "decided" she wants to have it at her house.
Ok... generally I would have no problem with this... but part of me just wants to scream give me a damn break already. I mean, I understand it seems (I think) to have a lot to do with my father-in-law passing away this year. She probably wants to be closest to her comfort zone or something along those lines... and I get it... I really do.
But seriously.. it does not make the best sense. Her house is very, very cluttered. My kids have a field day, doing everything they should not while we are there.. add to that my (at times) obnoxious brother-in-law's presence and I am terrified for the day. It means I don't get to make the turkey... (so, if the past tells me anything, then it won't be a home done turkey, and will probably - for lack of a gentler expression... suck) - it means we won't all get to sit together. It means walking on eggshells to keep everyone happy... it means no one will give a damn enough to get out to MY house once this season.
They have not even been here since we got back. Granted... things have been a bit hectic. But we will do Christmas Eve at my husband's mother's house. We always do. So... I take great pride in decorating my house for Thanksgiving and Christmas and everything... and no one will even bother to come out here to see it. I know that is stupid and petty... and the bottom line is I decorate it that way because *I* enjoy it (greatly) but still... I am just frustrated.
Mostly I am frustrated over the weird vibe I am getting over the insistence that Thanksgiving
"will" be at my mother-in-laws.
I do have to wonder if it is simply an attempt to discourage my mother from being involved... (if so, that would just piss me off... she and I don't always get along... but it is Thanksgiving, and she IS my mother...) And I truly hope that has nothing to do with it....
I just feel we will not be able to relax and enjoy the day... (and yes, I feel I could relax more with the stress of cooking everything, and handling the entertaining than I feel I could by just going there... like I said... I am taking my lessons from the past...) But then... everything should get a second chance right? (Or umm.. third? I think it is...?)
Bottom line... I am just whining. I want it at my house. (Insert feet stomping, and drawn out whine here.) And I am ticked, and feel it is being handled irrationally. It is just annoying to have it there... in the middle of very unmunchkin friendly clutter...
Families travel across the damn country on Thanksgiving to see each other and eat together... but MY house is too far away. 40 miles... too far away. Yeah... I am annoyed.
All I can do is put on a happy face......... right?
11.05.2005
10:26 p.m.
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