Ok, so I did have one "not so blissful" moment with my husband this weekend. It came from an email he opened while we were both sitting in front of the computer together last night. He quickly closed the email. No big deal - he will go back to it I figured. Then he started coming up with all these reasons for me to leave the room... he was REALLY thirsty and wanted some tea. When I was not quick to jump he "had a taste so bad in his mouth he felt like he was going to puke." So - maybe I was totally wrong for not getting him his tea - or maybe he was just trying to get around answering my inevitable questions at what I would read if I did in fact read the email.
Finally, he opened the email. Most of it was no big deal - I could care less which of his friends he puts in contact with one another and whether or not they "hook up" - but there it was... one immensely disturbing sentence, nestled at the bottom of the page. Should I believe it? Was it regarding something recent? Something from 10 years ago (to which I then would not care..) - or was it a total fabrication on someone's part like my husband was immediately insisting. I don't know. I may never know. But I did not want it to cause a train wreck out of the smooth sailing ride we had been having all weekend. So, allowing a momentary "derailment" in my mind - I told my husband: "Just wait until some time when you are home with me and catch the person online... then confront them and see what it's all about." He said fine. Did he actually do it though? No. He talked to the person today. And he had the person IM me. So I have no idea what my husband said to the person, only what was said to me. So, all sorts of questions still linger in my head. You know what... I am just going to let it go. It's in the past... and if there was any truth to the disturbing sentence, I will assume it is WAY in the past, and nothing for me to worry with anyway. The credibility of the person who sent him the email is nonexistent, so I am not about to let something so questionable force me to question everything so wonderful of the past 4 days, and everything wonderful, and not so wonderful of the past 5 years.
Someday I know I will not question everything my husband does, and I look forward to that time with great anticipation. Until I get there though, I know I will have more moments where my heart unnecessarily skips a beat... as it did last night with that email. But I know it just goes with the territory.
06.16.2003
4:04 p.m.
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