2 days... (AND COUNTING!!)

The house is so quiet right now. I guess I should be savoring the moment, though I'm not. It feels kind of "lonely." My poor husband is sound asleep... again. He is fighting some kind of virus, at least so far my daughter and I seem to have escaped it though. (Knock on wood.) But I feel so bad for him, he got home "early" last night at about 6:30, and basically went right to bed... in a sperate bedroom because he did not want to give me his "cooties" and I did not see him again until 10:00 this morning. He was only up for about an hour then, and now he is sleeping again. I hope he feels better by tonight... I would hate for him to be feeling so crappy while I'm in labor.

Speaking of which - I wish I would go into labor already!! I keep having contractions, some are really uncomfortable... but - no pattern. I wish he felt better because I want to get out and go walk around somewhere... maybe speed things up. (It's a good thing we are broke till Wednesday or I'd be Christmas shopping right now!)

I had a "moment" in speaking to my mother yesterday. A moment that is very, very rare between the two of us. I have gotten used to telling her nothing "deep" - it seems she would just react wrong or something, but without me saying a thing yesterday she said something that was actually very reassuring to me. She told me something like "don't worry, once you have this baby, everything will be 'ok' - and you won't have to worry about whether it's right or not, you'll just know that everything IS ok."

What she said made perfect sense to me. She also said something like at that point I'll know we are a "family" and not just myself and my baby girl against the world. It's funny, sometimes she is so amazingly out of touch with my feelings, and other times she hits the nail right on the head. I have not said anything to her about my worries... worries that my baby girl won't get enough attention after the new baby comes, worries about feeling guilty having another one so fast and then worrying because I felt guilty FEELING guilty. She just knew... and her words were exactly what I needed to hear. I just had to throw that in there...

Well... HOPEFULLY this diary won't be updated for a few days... HOPEFULLY I'll go into labor very, very soon. Guess it remains to be seen!

11.22.2003
1:05 p.m.