Yesterday I was feeling down. Very, very down... and my husband knew it. I was being grumpy with him, and just overall feeling very overwhelmed by everything in our current situation, from our money, to my problems with my dog... and just everything felt like it was bringing me down yesterday.
A year ago, had my mood been that way, he would have ignored it - or worse, just been plain nasty to me. But instead, he wrote me the most amazing letter ever. It really helped to put everything back into perspective. I know we are going to get through this. And I know everything will work out. I just wanted to say Thankyou - Sweetheart, for knowing me as well as you do, and for knowing how to bring me back down to reality.
He was home from work today - waiting with me on the pool people, that never showed - and we had a very good day together. A year ago that would not have been very easy either... it would not have been "right" - it would have been fake. He would have been antsy, and trying his hardest to go "somewhere" just to be "busy." Things are so different now... and it's amazing how, when I look back - I see how blind I was to how "wrong" things were between us back then. How blind I was to everything going on... how far in denial I was of what I knew was wrong. It feels like I live in a different world now. Like "I have my husband back..." though back then I did not even know how lost to me he was.
Last year my birthday was not "right" in any way. And I knew it - but did not know what to do about it. I am looking forward to making it truely right this year. All I need is my family, and I know I (we) can get through any hard times that may come our way.
07.02.2003
8:46 p.m.
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