Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Back to "normal"?

The house is so quiet. It almost seems strange now. Just over two weeks ago, my St. Bernard was here, making me absolutely insane for what seemed like every waking second of every day. Then that sudden call came that the rescue group had an unexpected opening - and he was gone. But I had no time to recover - not even a moment to myself because the next day we picked up my stepdaughter for her two week stay.

What a two weeks that was. And now - the house is "empty." It's just myself, and my baby girl... and our one dog. I am in a mental fight with myself as to whether I am going to consider this new situation I have found myself in as "lonely" - or "peaceful"... maybe it's both?

I feel bad for my husband... and the situation he must find himself in when he is faced with my expectations of how my stepdaughter should act - and how she does act. In my opinion, she is totally out of control, disrespectful, and in need of one hell of a talking to/world shattering attitude adjustment. But he seems content with how she acts. This two weeks gave me a dose of her attitude I had not experienced before - and Saturday night I nearly completely lost it... when we were contemplating all leaving the bbq instead of just myself and the baby - and she shot me that nasty look... I was ready to come undone. Who the hell does she think she is to act like that? And then the next morning when I mentioned something to my husband about how she acted towards me he said "well, I expected that." Say WHAT???

Not only does she need one hell of an attitude adjustment... I think when it comes to her behavior and what's "acceptable" and "expected" *he* needs one too. So I have decided: before her next scheduled visit (the weekend of the 30th, which will probably be pushed to the weekend after that because we are *finally* going to rip out the wood burning stove) I am going to get some poster board, and post "house rules" and "attitude rules" and such. If she screws up... then no pool... no computer - and *I* don't care if she sits in her room and sulks about it the entire weekend... if that is what it takes for a few visits... then that is what it takes. One warning... then action. Period. This crap has gone on long enough.

I refuse to allow her to forge a wedge between my husband and myself, and I refuse to allow my children to grow up seeing their older sister get whatever the fuck *she* wants by stomping her foot, throwing a fit or just plain "demanding it" when *THEY* will be no where near as "lucky."

Wow - this entry kind of got "off track" from where it began. But it felt good to get it all out anyway.

3:31 p.m.

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