Ok, first off there is something I have to say - but it will contain plenty of profanity because I have realized I must watch my potty mouth and not say it all out loud so much because my baby girl has picked up a few really BAD words from her mommy... but good grief make the fucking stinging in my damn leg stop already before I scream out - fucking - loud and just break into tears because the damn thing feels like it is on fire at the moment.
Phew... no, I don't feel better and it still stings, but since I can't actually scream it out loud, I guess that will have to do. And really.. I could cry. It is finally starting to look better, I think. One leg is all healed and just regularly "recovering sunburn" looking... but... what. the. hell. is. up. with my other leg. I want to bandage it up or something but I have nothing big enough to bandage it with. Seriously... it runs down nearly my entire shin.
And I could just scream. (Why does it hurt worse tonight than it has in days?)
Moving on...
I think things are beginning to settle down now from the total insanity of the weekend... and hopefully I will get a better routine down that involves LESS of my mother by the end of the week. I told myself I will see a lot of them at the beginning... so, I am giving it until next week before I say *hint hint* - ummm, we are NOT living *with* each other, remember? But really... so far everything has been about how I expected it and we are doing good... I think.
And on a totally unrelated subject - sometimes I wonder just how sane I am. For instance, tonight I was watching a Lost rerun and for whatever reason my mind just wandered off to what if *I* was in that situation.. with my babies. Or, what if something happened to one of them in that sort of accident.. and, how could I possibly cope with such a loss... (I could never cope with that, they are my life) and well... now I just feel so completely down, and I just want to go into their nice warm snuggly rooms and hug them, and feel their breath, remind myself that they are just fine - and no horrible tragedy is heading for us.
Maybe it goes along with all the worrying I have been doing recently with the thoughts of "have we finally gotten our break." And I think we have. I think. But I am still petrified to admit it.
Anyway... any other parents out there manage to totally freak themselves out about things like that? Or am I alone on this and in need of some sort of stabilizing medication?
Well... look at that... an entry that went totally all over the spectrum! I guess that was probably entertaining. But now I am off to put antibiotic ointment on my burn and then a nice cold towel... I hope. How long does it take something like this to heal anyway?
07.07.2005
12:02 a.m.
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