Continued.....

I am really making myself nuts here. Really honestly am. I guess I have found something I am completely obsessive compulsive over... and that is if there is a CHANCE I am pregnant... I am going to make myself insane over it until I know FOR CERTIAN one way or the other.
For instance... this morning I felt just fine... perfectly normal... and I thought, I guess it has been all in my head, or maybe I have had some sort of bug the past week... or something - well............ now I feel like shit. Like I could go puke at any moment. And my boobs hurt. That could be just premenstrual crap too.. I just don't know and the not knowing is driving me totally crazy.
I swear if I am not... I am never trusting my body on issues like this again.
It's just weird. I keep thinking.. well... IF I am... I need to get caffeine free soda, and IF I am, I need to start taking my vitamins EVERY day again and stop slacking... and IF I am I can't have a drink if we actually treat ourselves to dinner later... (which we are considering because our tenants actually got us part of the rent earlier today... *big sigh of relief*) And... and... and... you get the point right?
And I KNOW we have talked about "when" to start trying for number 3.. and we had decided on this summer... so it's not that early considering... but then... my poor body - I worry about my hip, and my weight... and just insert much neurotic dribble here and call it good.
So... here I am going nuts over something I can do actually NOTHING about. Go figure.
Geeze I feel like I could puke. Maybe my body is just in shock because my wonderful husband got me a starbucks chai that I have not had in weeks when he went to the bank earlier...? I am reaching here I know...
If I just sent you the password to this entry, be sure to go back one to get filled in...

01.08.2005
3:37 p.m.