Today.... today was truly a wonderful day. In every sense of the word. I don't know what exactly it was... but I realized so much...
The morning just flew by... why is it, the times we are enjoying so much, escape at a speed that seems so much faster than every other moment? My babies... they found their baskets, and all the "hidden" eggs... and the morning was just amazing. At one point my husband and I were just sitting, watching them play together will all the plastic eggs, and it was just such a magical moment.
I realized... I have been letting so much get to me. And I know there is no magical "cure" for this... but maybe I can put it beside me now that I realize how unimportant it all really is. I only care about getting my family safely home, to our house on Long Island... and that is what matters. The every day games that people play... should mean nothing to me. I should not allow it all to get under my skin the way I do... And honestly this is not a new realization... but just, I suppose a renewed one. I just have to watch myself... I want to get us out of here so badly... at times I have been feeling on the complete brink of a "meltdown" - and that is not me. That anger (at unimportant things), that lack of control, that is not me - and I just have to remind myself what is important here... and that is simply getting my family home, and not all the other mundane crap that forces me to find myself screaming inside my head far too often.
If that last paragraph left you scratching your head in confusion... well... sorry about that! My daughter's Easter basket was adorable... it had a little doll in it, and a hat for my baby girl, that matched the hat of the doll, and a little purse for her as well... and as much as she loves hats... she adored the race cars my baby boy got even more! Thankfully there was enough to go around. I got this prepackaged basket, and it had 2 medium sized cars, and one really big one.. I figured they would really get lots of use out of it... well.. it was even better than I thought! They not only are cars.. but they are the ones you push and they have a little motor or something and they zoom across the floor... all three of them! I thought it was pretty neat anyway... and watching how happy my babies were... just meant the world to me. It literally just melted my stress away for the day.
Hopefully I can hold onto that feeling as we go through the week.. though with what is in store... I am sure it will not be easy. (Did I mention my "landlord" is going to do a "walk-through" of my place on Saturday?) Fun... fun... fun...
Well... I am tired, and as usual, my hip hurts. And though I could keep boring you to death as I ramble on... I think I will just close for now. I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter.
Oh, and I added some Easter pictures and things here.
03.28.2005
12:06 a.m.
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