My initial shock of "how the heck am I going to do all this on my own" from the beginning of the week has almost completely subsided... and I actually almost have everyone into a pretty good "routine" - at least as much of one as I can possibly expect.
So, now I sit here typing ever so slowly... because I am doing it with one hand. My other hand has a much more important job to do - it's feeding my baby boy. And my little girl is sleeping soundly in her bed for her afternoon nap. She has even gotten herself to sleep for her nap the past three days... I have not had to be at her side until she was securely dozing, which has freed up a little time for me.
It's amazing to me the way I had already forgotten some of the simple little things my daughter did in her infancy that I loved so much... as she grew all the things I love about her grew as well... but naturally as she abandoned doing certain things, they slipped from the forefront of my mind. My precious little boy... after he drinks his bottle I put him on my shoulder to burp him, and so often in that time he will turn and lift his head just a bit. and stare at me... and I can feel his baby breath against my ear or my cheek and it's such a sweet feeling. My daughter used to do that too.
I was so worried about being able to give them both equal love... I should not have been. I am still worried the attention scale is unbalanced... but then, he is so little he has to get more attention. So, overall I think I am doing ok.
They just amaze me.
12.05.2003
5:06 p.m.
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