Fireworks

Ok, so - I am a dumb dumb. I get the what was I *THINKING* dumb dumb of the year award. Yesterday... in the raging heat and blazing sunshine... we spent the entire day (practically) outside. I covered the baby from head to toe with sun block... and I covered me with sun block as well. I could not get my back... my arms just don't reach that way... so I figured once I met up with my husband outside he could do it.

Time ticked away... and the sun went down... and we came in the house and my husband said "your back looks red!" Oops. I forgot to ask him to put sun block on my back. Now I have a bright red sun burn on my back... and want to go outside into the pool today. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Well.. at least I know I won't forget to get him to put it on me again today!!

Overall though, yesterday went very well. I sort of have mixed feelings about some of it though. I had said nothing would bring me down yesterday, and some things kind of did. I had such a wonderful time out on the deck when my stepdaughter and husband were in the pool... and myself and my daughter were enjoying being outside with them... everything just seemed perfect. It all "fit." And then the rest of his family got there... and I enjoy them very much... it's just, they are aware of our situation with my dog and that I am considering giving him away... and my God they all had to put their "opinions" in... and that's ok and all... but at one point I just wanted to stand up and scream Enough Already!! But I didn't - because that would have made everyone uncomfortable.

And I realized something else yesterday too... no one really likes my dog. And that kind of upset me. I mean... to me he is a big, loving mush... who yes is a pain sometimes... but no one else even gives him the time of day. They just push him away... and moan if he even looks their way. I don't know what to do. Part of me feels ready to give him up - like he would be happier with someone else... but I don't want to make that choice just because of pressure either. I just want to do what's right for him, and my family. Ok.. I told myself I was going to try to not think about this today... maybe "redo" yesterday today... only a little better...

And in a statement of near shock I will say... yesterday morning I actually got a Happy Birthday call from my older brother in TX. I was amazed... but deep down, very Thankful he actually remembered.

AND - Last night I saw the best fireworks display that I have ever seen. Now - the actual pyrotechnics sucked. It was just the neighbor shooting off a few things that sparkled... but it was the best ever - I had my baby girl in my arms the entire time. She actually put her head down against my chest... and fell asleep!!! With all the booms and all going on around her... she was comfy enough on me to fall fast asleep. She did not even wake up when I walked in the house an laid her down in bed beside me. I had my entire family there and it was a wonderful experience. My little munchkin... my husband, my stepdaughter... everything was like it should be. Now if I can just get my husband to go get me the Chai he owes me today... it will be perfect! (I'll explain THAT story soon..!)

07.05.2003
12:51 p.m.