Saturday, September 8, 2012

Funky dreams and sweet moments

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Ok... I had the goofiest dream last night - actually early this morning, and decided to write it down here, simply to remember it because it was somehow very disturbing...

I can't remember exactly how it started.. I think my son woke up from his nap... so I went upstairs to get him... and let him out of his crib (upstairs, which I would never do because of the stairs) and I was on the phone.. with the tenants... they were (and are in real life) supposed to get us the additional rent today or tomorrow.

Well, as expected there was some problem with it, and we were going over that, and the plumber I need to get there.. and the fact that we heard they were renting out the basement to a tenant of their own (All real stuff.. - and I never dream about "real" stuff.) and such.. and I was laying in bed talking to them, getting really aggravated with them when my son poked his head up where I could see it and I remembered I had let him run free upstairs.. and I was thankful he had not gone near the stairs and fallen... and then somehow my daughter was laying IN my son's crib, just smiling away at me with her gorgeous smile...

Then my tenant (from NY.. I am in IL) comes INTO MY ROOM and says "why aren't you downstairs we have all been waiting for you." And I picked up my son and headed out of the room (still keeping the phone to my ear this entire time because the tenant had put me on hold - the tenant now in my house - to confer with his wife on what we were talking about) then I turned around to get my daughter remembering she was in my son's crib.. and she was still there.. but now my father - in - law was there WITH her... sort of through the bars of the crib where his head and chest were laying beside her, but the rest of him was out of the crib.. magically through the crib bars, out of my site.. and I exclaimed "Father-in-law (I said his name in the dream) what the hell are you doing?" With my full NY accent and all... (which I thought was kind of funny because I know it has faded having been in IL since June) and I can't remember his answer, he mumbled something... but I now knew my mother - in - law was waiting downstairs for me too.. "by the pool" - but we don't have a pool... and when I got outside she scooped up my daughter to take her to the pool...  which had crap all in it like the pictures of the standing water left by the tsunami... and I chased after, not wanting my daughter in that water... not to mention it's 5 degrees outside (but I was warm and in shorts, but I *knew* it was 5 degrees outside) and then the tenant was setting my son in the water!! ALONE!! His head went below the surface just before I grabbed him... and I realized the water was warm, and I got the feeling we had moved to Florida (like we were considering during my husband's job search) and I was holding onto my son for dear life... doing my best to find a way out of the pool... because I needed to get to my daughter....

And that was the end of that. I woke up really irritated, NEEDING my daughter (NO ONE *EVER* keep my children from my reach) and just overly frustrated. The entire dream was infused with that feeling of "foggy headedness" and complete lack of control... I hate that about my dreams.
I have NO clue what brought that on.

Anyway... my poor husband got home so late last night... basically right in time for the kids to go to bed. And he was trying to unwind from his day and THEN wanted to spend time with them... and it just could not happen that way. They need to go to bed by a certain time every night otherwise they are super cranky the next day. So when he took our daughter up to bed he snuggled with her for a moment to at least get SOME hugs... and fell asleep. But at least he got to spend some time with her. I just feel so bad. He said he is going to do his best to only have 2 "late" nights per week. And I can deal with that. That, in fact, is what I had asked for in the past that he would never give... so, I know he is really trying.

And this morning before he was leaving for work he looked at our daughter and said "Wazzup!" to which she replied "azzap!!" and they went back and forth with that a couple of times... and then the "peanut gallery" chimed in... that is my one year old baby boy... mimicking the tone of my husbands voice with an "ahhhhhhh!" and it was just one of those moments that needed to be captured. They amaze me everyday.

Well... that's it for now. I certainly hope the tenants actually get us the rent today.. or tomorrow...the remainder of it that is. I have many bills from the past few months calling my name... and my husband got his first check today! It's a shame it is already all gone... well.. not actually gone, but all "spoken for" anyway. But at least we finally CAN pay the bills... and soon enough we will reach the point where we will have something left over as well. I am really looking forward to that day.

11:28 a.m.

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