Saturday, September 8, 2012

Going, going... going?

Right about now my husband is in the middle of his lunch interview. (Yes, he does not even get a "break" for lunch, the schedule he showed me had him booked solid from 9 am to 3 pm - then off to the airport to come home.)
Last night over the phone he almost sounded happy to be there, in Houston. As if he really had missed it. I don't know what to think about it all. Yesterday was so stressful... As of this past weekend he was not going to go to the interview. Then, after the computer and desk crisis, he decided to go. Yesterday he was all packed, and our baby girl was freaking out saying bye to him - and she never does that. So, he decided to stay. Our friend who was here to take him to the airport left, and it was over. Then our daughter calmed down... he began doubting his decision. What if this was his one chance to really make it - and after going back and forth with himself and me, he decided to go after all. Luckily the plane was delayed an hour.
I just don't know how to feel about it all. I want us to simply have a plan, some sort of plan, and in one moment I will think maybe Houston would be ok - we did really good while we were there, and we did visit NY often. Then, I worry about my step-daughter, and how much I want her to be close with my babies. I just don't know.
And then there is my mother. When we were in Houston before, everything was fine between all of us. But now she is so insistent I come "home" (no matter how much I tell her Houston is NOT my home, I don't even waste my breath anymore) and she does not even acknowledge the more important reasons for us to go to NY.
When I spoke to her last night, I said "well, we do have a house in NY" - and when she shrugged that off, I decided to delve in head first for the fight... saying "And Amanda lives in NY"... she had the nerve to say, "well you also have family in Houston..." I wanted to scream. How can you even compare the two?? I am sorry, last I checked my family in Houston was composed entirely of  people old enough to understand that my step-daughter is a CHILD, and therefore more important. I wish I had found the words to say that last night. It makes me so sad when she acts like that. Like I am supposed to put her before my husband's daughter, my children's sister. I just don't understand.
Anyway... here I sit, wondering what is going on with his interview. Was it a waste of time? Or will it be an undeniable offer?
The constant level of stress I am feeling these days is driving me crazy.

1:10 p.m.

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