I'm almost sure...

I can say with near certainty that the pregnancy "scare" is over.
The test I took this morning was negative. And I have those "oh so wonderful" nasty cramps that are a sure sign of things to come during the day.
In my heart I am disappointed.... but I can live with that. And it made me realize something... I'm ready.
We were planning to try again this summer anyway... so why should we wait, really? For me to lose weight I would just gain right back? Yeah... because I want to do all that work just to turn around and undo it... how about... let's just do it now... and then, after the baby, I can use the weight loss momentum to lose the extra weight I have now, too. Sounds like a much happier plan to me.
See... I was so worried about "messing up" the amazing dynamic my daughter and son have... but no matter what I DO want another baby, so I am better off introducing that baby sooner, rather than later while they are still accepting...
There is only one kink. See... I am a pain in the ass when it comes to how I want their birthday's spaced out. I don't want them to have to share, etc. (So I was really worried if I was pregnant this time around, the baby would be born right on top of my daughter's birthday...) SO... this means, either we get a really neat Valentine's Day present in finding out we are pregnant next month... or I'll be waiting a couple more months anyway... because if we find out next month, my due date would be in October.. anytime after that, would put the due date right on top of my son's birthday, or, even worse, Christmas.
So... I think I am finally done with this "series" of private entries. Thanks for listening to me obsess... it means a lot.
Cross your fingers for me - that would make this Valentine's Day even more special.

01.18.2005
8:30 a.m.