Intensity

What a roller coaster.

Yesterday when my husband got home - we all did our 'normal' things... and then there was one startling difference. He said to me - (I don't know if I am accurate in saying this verbatim) "I think I want to give things another try..."

Basically - he said he DOES want to try and pick up the pieces... and move forward. Together. And build our marriage into what a marriage is supposed to be. I was extremely happy to hear that. Though - I am also a bit apprehensive (he did have the word 'think' in there) - but I am also optimistic.

I have been trying to let his actions speak for themselves... and last night he hinted about coming back to the bedroom... and though I have been wanting that SO VERY much... I denied it to him. Only because he had said the word think - (which I am now thinking was just his way of approaching what he wanted to say gently... and not that he was that unsure about the choice... but I just needed to be sure - my feelings have really had the shit beat out of them the past few weeks....) AND - because he had said he wants to 'take it slowly.' 

Tonight I think we are going on a 'date' - which should be nice. And I am going to ask him to define what he meant by slowly. Just to avoid any confusion... and most importantly, hurt feelings.

These past few weeks have given me a tremendous amount of perspective. About myself, my life, the things I am capable of.... and my strengths. Barring some of the complete emotional meltdowns... I think I am pretty proud of myself.

I just hope things are looking up as much as I am perceiving them to be.... I will still keep taking it a day at a time... and I will see what's what as his actions speak for themselves. This morning... was very nice. Let's hope that is a sign of things to come.

Posted Date: : Aug 7, 2007 1:58 PM