I am just full of entries these last couple of days aren't I?
I have noticed a pattern with myself that I don't think I can do anything about... but it has become irritating because it really affects a portion of my life. I get about 2 migraines a month now. This has gone on for the past 3 or 4 months now that I am certain and maybe for much longer than that. But I just began to pay attention. Maybe today it is heightened by my stress level, but more than likely it just has crappy timing and it is "normal."
I am stuck between being "ok" and feeling completely lost. On one hand, we are fine. I know that.. and I know that we somehow WILL be fine. On the other hand, my husband has been sending out his resume like crazy since Friday afternoon when he got home... and the phone has yet to ring. (It rang once, on Friday from a company in NY, he was supposed to hear back from them today... so we are waiting..........)
And my head is pounding.
And my husband will run out of paxil sometime next week... and coming from someone who KNOWS (remember my withdrawal?) I have to do everything in my power to make sure that does NOT happen... and his NY doctor had told him he HAD to SEE him to refill it again. This was supposed to be all fine and dandy, we were supposed to have the money to pay the ridiculous cost of getting him one appointment with a new doctor before our insurance took over. Now what?
My step-daughter is supposed to come here to visit us from NY the next to last week of February and I was really, really looking forward to that - now will that even be practical? I still want to do it if we can, so she can see where we have been... but will we be moving soon thereafter? Is there even a point to it? We NEED to see her again, it has been too long and we can't miss this chance...
And what if the phone just does NOT ring?
We have run out of people to turn to. We have run out of knowing people with an "in" at this company or that...
A friend told me it probably happened for a reason... and to stay positive and that what comes next will probably be better... and I am all for that. But why the hell is all the stress needed too?
Good grief my head is pounding.