Friday, September 7, 2012

My father-in-law's health

Last year my husband's father went into the hospital. He had very thick fluid in his lungs, and it had to be manually drained. (To paint the picture, they had to cut a hole through his side, into his lung and drain it because it was so thick nothing else would get it out.)

He never really fully recovered from that hospital stay. But, my father-in-law can be a very difficult person, so keeping him on the right track has not been an easy task for my mother-in-law. She has tried her hardest though. He has been to the doctor numerous times in the past year, for various things.

He is now back in the hospital. This time things seem a bit worse. The fluid is all back in his lungs, and his blood pressure is very low. They can't cut and place a tube like they did before to drain the fluid from his lungs because his heart is too weak - yet it is being kept weak by the fluid. Medically it almost seems we are a bit stuck.

I am very worried about my mother-in-law, and certainly my husband. I have been in this position before. I lost my father. I lost my grandmother whom I was very, very close to. My husband has not gone through this. And the position we are in with his father reminds me so much of how things were at the end with my grandmother. She was ill and went into the hospital, and was slightly delusional. (She would think she was standing up straight but was laying down, and thought someone was standing by her bed when no one was there, etc.) And she would go in and out of that state... the night before I was to fly back to New York she seemed just fine... we were sitting in her hospital room laughing and talking. The next morning we got a call that she was in a coma, totally unresponsive.

My husband's father seems stronger now than my grandmother was. I am just afraid though to look ahead. I don't know what to expect. I don't think anyone does. And I really have no one to talk to about it. My husband will need me to be strong for him... and I sort of don't know what I should be doing. I want to do and say all the right things for him. I hope his dad pulls through this and comes out better than he was before. I am just afraid to count on that. And I am afraid to let my husband know how worried I am because I know how much this terrifies him. We hugged one another this morning and I swear I could feel his fear. I hate to see him so worried and hurting.

Whether you pray, or simply can think good thoughts for us, everything would be appreciated right now.

3:18 p.m.

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