My insomnia, and wide awake baby girl...

Sometimes my husband's patience shocks me. I have been having trouble sleeping recently. I have dealt with bouts of insomnia for as long as I can remember, and last night was certainly no exception. We got to bed earlier than we have in a long time. I actually had my head on my pillow with the intent to go to sleep by 11:30pm. That's just amazing these days...

So 12:00am came and went, as did 12:30, 1:00, 1:30 and so on until finally somewhere after 2:00am I actually dozed off into a very unrestful sleep. 4:30am I awaken to hear my sweet baby girl crying in the other room. So I stumbled to her room retreaved her and brought her back to her "spot" beside me in the bed. Generally when I do this the moment her head hits the bed she is out like a light, and I can doze back off, barely remembering I actually ever got up. Not today. She kept sitting up. And now that she has gotten quite mobile... and darn quick at that... this meant no dozing for me. About 45 minuets went by and I realized I needed to at least doze... so I could *pretend* to be alert in the morning. So I moved her to the middle of the bed, nestled between my husband and myself. She snuggled up to me and I thought FINALLY - SLEEP!! Not so fast... she began playing with my hair... playing "drums" on my shoulder... anything to say "mommy, I'm here!!" Until 6:00am rolled around and somehow my husband noticed what was going on. He turned over and tried to settle her down and I told him, it's no use - she is wired this morning. And to my amazement... he got up! He said he might as well get an early start on the day then so he can get home early. And he got up with a smile on his face and took over with her for a bit to help me calm my nerves. That was the nicest thing he could have possibly done for me at that moment. I mean, she has gotten up and wanted play time that early before... but normally I am a little more rested.

Why is it from 7:00 or 8:00am until 11:00 or so pm all I want is "just another hour of sleep" and when it comes time to go to sleep... I lay there staring at the ceiling? That's just not fair.

I hope I sleep better tonight.

06.27.2003
1:33 p.m.