I just checked my husband's diary... sometimes he amazes me. He must have gotten another entry in before he had to leave for his two interviews today, and I know he is so nervous... but through it all, he is making sure he does and says everything he can to comfort me. A year ago things would have been totally different. Last year we were in a very bad place... but it is a place I know we will never travel to again. In August we will be married 5 years. Sometimes the day we were married feels like just yesterday... other times it feels like it's been 20 years.
Last year, we were in a horrible place... but our finances had never been better. Today, he and I are the strongest we have ever been as a couple and a team... and our finances are truly in the worst place they have ever been. I know we will get through it though. It is only money. Money is not what matters. My smiling baby girl beside me (who is talking away as I type) is what matters. He is what matters. Our unborn child is what matters. And they will always be first to me.
My husband keeps asking me what I want for my birthday - that is fast approaching on July 4th... he knows of a necklace I want... and yes, I really do want it. And if I needed to, I could list off probably 100 other things I "want" - like glass for my coffee table that the movers lost a year ago... the bedroom painted, the pool pump fixed - etc. and so on. But none of that is what matters. HE and my daughter are what matters. Just a nice relaxing day with them would make everything perfect. And I know I'll get that. Not only will I have them, but I'll also have my step daughter. And our pool pump may be broken... but the neighbor's sure isn't - and I know they will invite us over just like last year.
So, don't worry my love, I know we will get through these times, and everything will be better than ever. And stop worrying about my birthday - all I want is my family at my side.
Until next time...
06.26.2003
1:50 p.m.
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