Potty!

I have lots on my mind... but most of it nothing I have not said before in some way - whether I delve into it further than that now remains to be seen... I will just see where this takes me now I suppose.

There is one thing very special to me that I must mention. My baby girl went "peepee" in her potty yesterday!! She is only 18 months old, and she used her potty!! (And no, that picture my husband posted yesterday is *not* her potty, or my bathroom!!) I have not really been pushing the potty issue yet, I have always heard to wait until later, my husband gets full credit for this one I have to say. I just feel terrible he was not in there when she did it! I had undressed her for her bath and was running the water, turned my back for just a moment to put the hairbrushes back into the drawer that she pulled out - and I saw her in the corner of my eye going to sit on her potty, but I assumed she was just going to sit on it... then when my back was turned I heard the music play! (Yes, we got the poor baby a potty that plays music when she *goes*) And there is was - peepee in her potty!!! I yelled for my husband and we both praised her and made a big deal about it.

It is amazing how bitter sweet the simplest things become once you are a parent. Here I am - amazingly proud of my little girl for using her potty - but, basically crying in sadness at the same time. She is my little girl... my BABY... who, as much of a pain in the ass diapers are... is SUPPOSED to wear diapers... and she is already heading full steam towards using a potty. Just one of the many ways I will have to learn to "let go." I always (pre "mommy - hood") wondered what in the world the "big deal" was when I would hear of mother's crying at their child's first day of school and so on - I figured it would be a relief of some sort... to have some free time again. But I cried when she used the potty!! I will probably be weeping in my husbands arms on her first day of kindergarten - or preschool! (Which is beginning to seem like it will be here WAY to fast.)

On other issues... my husband and I have begun to make plans for a family vacation this summer... most likely during the last two weeks of July. I am VERY excited. We are also trying to plan it so we fly to Houston (to see my family) for a few days, and THEN go on to the REAL (because you know seeing MY family will be immensely stressful) vacation in South Florida. Of course... my mother just HAD to do her best to make me feel like shit. I don't understand - it's like my family acts like my life is just so damn easy, meanwhile we are living pretty much pay check to pay check as they are. (That should change soon, tomorrow my husband is putting $100 into savings... and I plan on doing that with each check he gets from now on.) I just don't understand why they can't be HAPPY for my accomplishments. Instead she was first... seemingly aggravated or something that I would only be spending part of the vacation visiting them... and secondly saying things like "well, I just hope your life always stays this "easy." I wanted to scream at her! But I guess... maybe my life these says does seem "easy" to her. She knows nothing of what has transpired in my marriage the past few months... and I rarely tell her anything to deep about my finances...

I just wish she, and my brothers could be HAPPY for me. My little brother told me all about how he is trying to go to mechanics school in the fall... and I told him how PROUD of him I am... and even that if he can't get all the grants he is after to let me know, and I would help any way I could... because I am PROUD of him, and school is important, especially for him. And I think I did the right thing there - and I fear my mother won't. I know if *I* was to tell her that, I would get some sort of grief about it. Anyway... I am rambling and probably making no sense... I will be back soon.

Oh - I added an awesome trailing cursor from this site... I have yet to figure out how to link her graphic on my page, but once I do, it will be up. In the meantime... if you want one - go browse - these things are so neat! (In my opinion.) If anyone has any troubles with it, or if it makes my page load slower or something, please let me know... though I have had no issues as of yet.

03.14.2004
5:31 p.m