Saturday, September 8, 2012

Small, extremely meaningful gestures of love

For all the times I bitch and complain about my husband here, in this diary... there are so many good things about him I don't say. And I know I have said this before... but really.. I should say the good things more often.
Like the way he knows me so well. He knows when something is bothering me... when I am in a funk, and ignoring my own needs. For example, last night, I had simply given up on "bothering" with dinner. I fed my munchkins some leftovers, and I was just not going to worry about myself... it just seemed like too much hassle... and I was just not feeling right. So, what did he do? He vanished into the kitchen for a good 45 minutes, and came out, telling me he had made us soup.
I don't know how he managed it, but somehow with the goofy odds and ends we had in our pantry, he cooked us a truly amazing meal. And, even made enough that I can probably get 2 more dinners out of it this week. He later told me it was a recipe his father showed him a long time ago, called Pasta Fagioli... and it was wonderful. (He added a few things not in this recipe, which probably made it even better!) It's amazing what he can do with chicken broth and a few cans of kidney beans.
All the while, he was taking care of me while I should be the one taking care of him. Remember this moment in my history... or this, or this? They are all connected... those are the entries from when I was getting off paxil last year.
I say I should be the one taking care of my husband right now, because he is going through exactly what I went through then, now. Between simply not having the money to get his prescription, and his mere desire to get off it... he is so far doing a hell of a job putting up with his withdrawal. And paxil withdrawal is vicious... this I know. I remember, feeling so dizzy, like I was sitting slanted, about to fall... but I was just fine... feeling these "zaps" in my head... it was like 2 weeks of mere hell. Yet, over the past few days, he has been taking care of me. Making sure I was taking care of myself. He is truly an amazing person.
My husband, and my children give me everything I need in life. I just hope I do the same for them.
I suppose that's all for now...

11:21 p.m.

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