"We'll get back to you..."

So these people came to my house last night to "meet" my dog, and consider taking him. All day long I was a complete emotional wreck - I just *knew* they would take him... and that would be "that" and my Bailey would be gone.

They did not take him. Even though we had told them on the phone he DOES have hip dysplasia, and they SAID they were aware and knew how to handle it - it seems that was their deciding factor. So they left with a "we will think about it, and call you in a few days." Clearly, these people do love St. Bernard's - they had a picture with them of one another member of their family has - and they did know enough I could tell they really had owned one before. But these people - the husband especially... were looking for a "champion" St. Bernard. A "show piece" so to speak. Now.. my Bailey is the most loving, wonderful dog in the world... but a "champion" or "show piece" he is not. He has issues. Issues that were explained to these people over the phone. And even if they do call back saying they have thought about it and they will take him... I am not so sure I will be so quick to give him to them now. Maybe going through the woman at the rescue group is best. (He is still on that waiting list.) I mean, these people seemed great and everything - but they even said they are barely home. And Bailey is EXTREMELY a "companionship" oriented dog. Even when we are not home... I know he is not alone because we have our other dog.

I just hate this. And now today my emotions feel all out of sorts and I am just really "down." And that stinks. I am overly high strung and my stress level is through the roof... and I just want to cry. It's not just the dog of course - but it has a lot to do with it. I feel like I have so much storming through my head at once I just want to scream out SILENCE but even that would not work. I need a nice "day off" from everything. But - this is "real life" and you never get a "day off." I wish I could at least have a drink... but... alas not even till sometime in late November... or early December can I do that. (I won't even take tylenol much while I am pregnant even though the doctor says its ok... let alone have a drink.)

I guess I will be back later. I have lots more to say - but am not really getting it into "tangible words" at the moment. I think that's been my problem all week... lots of stress and thoughts filling my head - but no ability to "get them out" - maybe later.

07.19.2003
3:33 p.m.