Worries

Life feels so chaotic right now. But at least it seems we are on the verge of things falling into place to get back into some sort of "order."

I just feel so stressed right now. Like everything is getting to me. My husband says he knows today he got the new job - that's wonderful. But yet I still feel no relief from hearing that... he still does not have anything in writing... the "official" offer letter they said they would get him today at the latest he has now been told he will get "this afternoon or tomorrow." I just hope everything works out ok with that.

And I am stressed about my dog. I spoke to the woman from the rescue group and she said we don't have to neuter him, that she can do it once he is there. But he will be on the waiting list longer than expected because she has a sick dog there now. So now I still have no choice but to "ponder" my decision for another month - maybe two.

And I want my house in order. There is so much we need to do before the new baby arrives... and we are slowly but surely beginning to run out of time. Thankfully our very helpful and handy neighbor is going to stop by hopefully tonight - to look at our front room to see if he can help us remove the bricking and wood stove. That thing just takes up too much room - and life would be so much easier when the new baby gets here if it was gone. I hope he says it's easy and we can start "right away" - that would really take some weight off my shoulders.

I am also worried about my ultrasound appointment on Wednesday. I currently have no insurance. All that will be fixed once my husband gets the new job... and it will even cover this month which we have had a lapse in... but in the mean time... I have none. Now I am going to give them my insurance card and pretend everything is all "hunky dory" because I ASSUME they won't check it right there - and worst comes to worst they will send me a bill for the amount which I will then submit to the insurance company. Just as long as they don't verify it right on the spot.

All this... plus the nutty wanderings of my mind... (Friday night's still has me checking the gas burners constantly.) And I just feel a bit "unraveled" these days. I am worried about how & when we will ever pay my mother in law back for all the help financially she has given us recently. And I am worried my sweet munchkin's doctor tomorrow will say her ear infection has not gone away yet... and all these sorts of things. I just feel like I'm on overload.

I know there is a light at the end of this tunnel - and I know we are close to it... just - can't we hurry up and get there already?

07.14.2003
3:47 p.m.