Thursday, September 13, 2012

Yesterday’s Love Letter...

Okay, I promise I will do a real update tomorrow... for now, I am actually sort of doing the "Mommy freak out - my daughter is starting Kindergarten tomorrow!!"

But, here is the "Love letter" - as promised........ I will give an update and explanation tomorrow.

Wow... You know- it has been a LONG, HARD road the past couple of months for
me. I had my life torn apart, broken down, not even piece by piece... more
like a fucking atom bomb - just - boom. You think you are happy, well "TAKE
THIS!" And now... it has been getting rebuilt. Slowly... painfully. Bit by
bit and piece by piece.

And, you know what I find so completely pathetic? How vulnerable *I* was -
to his bullshit. His two faced lies. I don't know WHAT he has been telling
you these past few weeks... but whatever it was - this time I can say with
TRUE is over. You, and Andrew - are done. (And you are a
piece of trash for going along with it like you did... you are
pretty...well, if you got your nose reduced anyway... you don't need a
married man, there are plenty of single ones out there...)

Tonight, he begged me to go to counseling with him - not because *I* need to
change anything, because he needs the counselor to know how fucked up HE is.
He apparently has some addiction to attention. It makes him the amazing
person he is - but it is a hell of a draw back. He says he was too "nice" to
tell you the truth. I don't think nice is the word - I think cowardly would
be better. He SAYS he was just trying to get his guitar back... LOL -
well... I will be going with him to get a new one this weekend... not that
you deserve the one you have of HIS, but he will NEVER see you again.

Anyway - a month ago he told me he would never speak to you again. He lied.
(I was a fool.) Two weeks ago he told me he would never speak to you
again... well... my world fell apart tonight when I realized he lied -
AGAIN. And I feel like even more of a fool. Right now - he ran out of the
house, a desperate attempt to get away from my anger and hurt, to lick his
wounds and come up with some way to get me to believe I can actually trust
him again. My mind wanders... I wonder if he is finding the nearest payphone
to call you - warn you about my impending wrath...... if he does.. well - it
will be one more mark against him.. hopefully this time though, the fear in
his eyes of losing me, and his family was sincere. If it wasn't - he is a
damn fool.

And you - you are truly so pathetic. Professing your LOVE to him. Who the
fuck do you think you are!? Have you slept together!? He insists you
haven't. If you have - well... that's just sad. (**I edited a very personal snippet here.**)

Anyway... I guess I have let enough shit out for now. He will be here soon,
and beg me upstairs to OUR bed. Where he will lay next to ME tonight, and
try to prove his love to ME. Because *I* am the one worthy of his time - ALL
of his time. *I* am the one he is panicked he may loose right now. You? You
were fill in trash for his mid-life crisis. You were a pathetic phase.

Have a wonderful evening dear,

Posted Date: : Sep 4, 2007 8:11 PM

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