Confusion...

I have been sitting here staring at this blank screen wanting to type something for what feels like forever. I don't even know what to say.

I am in such a screwed up situation. I am having these moments where the anger and pain just threaten to take me over... but I have it all bottled up inside now because of my husbands job issues. As far as I know she still has her job... and that just makes my blood boil.

I am trying to be here for my husband and be supportive as he dives head first into looking for a new job... he already has two interviews today... but at the same time I have so much shit to work through...

For instance when his infidelity came out, I asked for her last name, and he stumbled around and finally said "Sherwood..." - then I asked him, we are being totally honest with each other from this point on... right? - And he agreed... and again said that was her last name. Well... (no surprise) he lied. And I now know her real last name. I just don't even want to confront him on it though... I don't even know where it ranks in the "important" things right now. And there is so much else...

Since Sunday I have had this knot in my stomach... it seems like its not going to go away anytime soon...

01.29.2004
2:11 p.m.