Friday, September 7, 2012

What an ass he can be.

Sometimes I feel like my husband would just be happier without me, and the kids, and everything that goes along with that. That is a really horrible feeling. I mean... my thing on the computer actually worked for a moment last night (I have been having problems with it not catching IM's) and this is what I get: (names omitted)

Drew says:
Lisa yelled at me cuz [baby boy] was having a rough time and she is now sleeping

***** says:
What going to sleep?

Drew says:
yeah

***** says:
he was cranky today

Drew says:
and i guess Lisa is too (or at least when she sees me) Sad smiley

***** says:
Sad smiley

Drew says:
i don't know..it must just be me

***** says:
you guys just need to have some serious talks i think

Drew says:
i thought we had

***** says:
no DEEP talks

Drew says:
Has she said anything to u?

***** says:
no

***** says:
But you need to just sit and talk about a lot of things and NOT TAKE LOW BLOWS!

Drew says:
Low blows?

***** says:
neither one of you can PURPOSELY say stuff YOU KNOW pisses the other off

Drew says:
I'm affectionate and do 85% of the housework

Drew says:
and i come home and stuff that was in the same spot when I left for work was still there when I got home

Drew says:
And I change the babies, feed them etc.

*****  says:
I know.  Sad smiley

Drew says:
contrary to opinion, i do try

***** says:
i know you do

Drew says:
I'm an asshole by nature but i do try

***** says:
i see that you try and you try hard

Drew says:
Do u think Lisa is a bit lazy or unmotivated?

***** says:
she has said that she just don't have the motivation to do stuff

***** says:
i wouldn't say lazy

Drew says:
i agree

***** says:
she may feel down about her weight and what not

Drew says:
i wish I knew

Drew says:
I'm not losing sleep over it

***** says:
but you are concerned right? lol

Drew says:
it is well, sometimes exhausting to come home from work and immediately start cleaning and 2. depressing cuz i could use some basic support, for Christ' sake today was a big day and instead i was unloading the truck and stuff like that

***** says:
i understand

Drew says:
i mean i *still* have to clean before bedtime

***** says:
What do you have to clean?

Drew says:
kitchen, take out trash

***** says:
yikes

Drew says:
I'm ok

***** says:
not really your not...but if you say so  Smiley

Drew says:
well, it piles up

Drew says:
i am attracted to strong, confident, aggressive, motivated women

***** says:
did she used to be a lot different

***** says:
?

Drew says:
at times

Drew says:
but then these ruts, maybe that's why I was unfaithful,,,

Drew says:
just thinking outloud'

***** says:
think away

Drew says:
personality is my main attraction

Drew says:
i can bang any bimbo....its the mind that ultimately attracts me to the body

*****  says:
right

***** says:
on the bright side of life ....i folded the laundry with no complaints today lol

Drew says:
Smiley

Drew says:
my laundry?

Drew says:
lol

***** says:
is not done......

Drew says:
i know

***** says:
she started it tho......

Drew says:
what terrifies me

Drew says:
is that Lisa has a trait Very similar to her mother

***** says:
what

Drew says:
"noncompleteion"

***** says:
ohhh....

Drew says:
start but not finish

***** says:
she has said that she worries about that...and she's afraid that she will be like her

Drew says:
and if I had a crystal ball and saw today that she was gonna be like her mom, Id leave tomm

***** says:
that bad?

So... these are my "husband's" inner most thoughts. First off, let me clear some things up here: He did NOT unload the truck from the shopping I did yesterday last night, *I* was going to do it last night but in getting my little guy to sleep, I fell asleep and therefore could not, *I* will have to unload it when the kids nap today. He said he had so much cleaning to do last night... BECAUSE I FELL ASLEEP WITH THE BABY - and let me say, my husband was the one who began to tuck the baby in... and the sweet angel was screaming his head off, so I went up there, and my husband is just SITTING THERE watching him cry - he says he's mad because he just wants to stand, but it was clearly more than that, when I cuddled up to him it STILL took me a good 20 mins to calm him (I had every intention of putting him in his crib & then finishing things downstairs, but fell asleep, because it took so long to calm him.)

And god for freaking bid his coffee cup was still on the desk when he got home yesterday from yesterday morning (that's the "and things are still in the same place" ) bullshit he was saying. I mean he was just LOOKING for a reason to bitch. That was the FIRST thing out of his mouth to me when he got home yesterday... "oh, my cup is still there? From this morning?? I wanted to scream YES IT IS at the time but just ignored it.

And excuse the fuck out of me if it took me a day to get back into a sort of "routine" after his first day back to work after our trip. I had so much to do today... and now I just don't want to do any of it, because no matter what, I will have done it because he will figure my friend spoke to me, or after reading this figure I did it because I saw his complaints. I get no credit from him... in his eyes I supposed I deserve none.

And I must say his "I could bang any bimbo" line was just charming - if its that easy for him.. I mean geeze - does he give a shit or NOT??? And justifying "days like yesterday" as his reason for his affairs was fucking hilarious... and if that's what he really thinks, he needs to reevaluate himself and what he wants from life... or just go - because I deserve better than that.

(By the way... NY trip overall was ok, incase anyone was wondering.)

And reading through that IM again as I ran my spell check, I see even more things I want to scream about... he does "85% of the housework" is a lie, him changing diapers and such.. yes, he does - AFTER I BEG HIM TO.

Geeze...


08.18.2004
12:00 p.m.

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